Shards of Hope
by 123KateM
Summary: Luke and Lorelai have both dealt with the pain of their breakup.  But now, as they begin to hope for happiness once again, they realize that fixing their mistakes might not be so easy.  Based on the series finale, and what happens afterwards.
1. But what does it mean?

Chapter 1

Lorelai could remember the day perfectly. It's hard to forget a day that has such an impact on the rest of your life. It was a turning point. In one moment, everything she thought she had known, everything she had relied on for the past 10 years, came crashing down. She remembered telling Luke. It was as if she wasn't even herself. She had stood there on the porch, staring at her hands. Were they her hands? They hadn't felt like hers. Had these hands really once held Luke? Had she once called Luke her boyfriend? Not just her boyfriend, she reminded herself, but her fiancée. They were supposed to be married.

It seemed strange: she stood just feet away of him, but it felt like miles. A wall was between them, she could spend eternity attempting to reach him, but would never succeed. She was strangely calm as she realized this, strangely calm as the slamming of the door, signaling his departure, shattered her last shard of hope.

While she remembered that day perfectly, the rest—the weeks, possibly even months—afterward were a hazy blur. It had been one thing to say goodbye to Luke, but it was an entirely different thing to live without him. Getting by, doing the day-to-day tasks, seemed impossible. She felt sluggish and inactive. When Sookie asked what was wrong, she blamed it on the lack of coffee. That was the easy excuse. Without Luke's coffee, she claimed, waking up in the morning was hard. But she knew this was only the partial truth. Yes, waking up without her favorite coffee was hard, but it was waking up without Luke—without the security that came with the assurance of love—that was nearly impossible.

Desperate for the assurance of love, she had turned to Christopher. She had decided years ago she would never go back to him, but facing the empty house after Luke was gone was just too hard. She needed someone—anyone—to fill it. Someone to sleep on Luke's side of the bed so that when she rolled over in the middle of the night, the emptiness of the bed didn't remind her of everything she had lost, breaking her heart for the thousandth time.

At first, Chris proved to be a suitable distraction. She knew at least that he wanted to be with her, and for now that was enough. After Luke left, she had felt, for the first time in her life, ugly and unwanted. But Chris seemed to care about her. He took her on dates, he kissed her, he proposed. She knew something was wrong. She endured their dates, she kissed him back, she hesitated, but then accepted his proposal. But it wasn't enough. Eventually, having Chris there was even worse than enduring the emptiness. She was only too aware of his flaws, his weaknesses. She couldn't help but compare him to Luke. She knew that anything he did would never be good enough.

So she had filed for divorce and resigned herself to that emptiness. She felt used to it by now. She had no desire to date again, to once again start that tiresome search to find someone to spend her life with. She had lost her faith in the search. If she couldn't make it work with Luke—the only relationship for which she had ever been "all in"—how could she ever hope to make it work with anyone else? She gave up, she grew accustomed to the loneliness. The pain was still there, but it was blunter, less acute. She could try to ignore it. On her best days, she could push it to the back of her mind and focus her energy on something else like work. On her worst days, it threatened to crush her.

As if the pain from losing Luke wasn't enough, now Rory was leaving her. Life seemed destined to be cruel to her. Her baby was leaving, and Lorelai was suddenly overwhelmed by the fear that she would be alone forever.

But standing here with Luke at Rory's goodbye party, she allowed herself to hope that it would be okay again. Maybe the worst was over.

"I just want to see you happy."

She heard Luke's words and they awoke her from her thoughts.

Suddenly they had both stepped forward and his lips were on hers.

In that moment, everything was okay. In that moment, the pain and the sadness that she had been carrying for the last year seemed to be released.

But when they finally broke apart for air, it all seemed to come back. She didn't know how to explain it. The kiss had been intoxicating; it had washed away all her worries and pain. For a second, she had allowed herself to piece together those shards of hope. But when his lips left hers, the pain seemed to flood back. She didn't know what to say, and she hated that feeling. She, Lorelai Gilmore, _always _knew what to say. One minute ago she had been crying over losing Rory, and the next she was kissing Luke. Everything was happening so fast. Why was this happening? Did he still love her? Did she still love him? What did this mean? As she stood there engrossed in these thoughts, she heard Luke whispering her name.

"Lorelai?" Luke asked quietly, confused by her silence.

She looked at him, and he saw the fear in her eyes. Suddenly he was disgusted with himself. _You moved too fast, _he thought, _She wasn't ready. Maybe you misread her feelings. Maybe she doesn't love you. Maybe, when things had finally started to improve, you had to go and mess everything up. You messed it up once and here you are doing it again._

He had to break eye contact with her, the intensity of her gaze was too much for him to endure. He couldn't stand the idea of losing her again. Lorelai was unsure of what to do. Luke wasn't saying anything. _Does he think he made a mistake? Is he regretting the kiss?_ She couldn't bear it any longer. She felt her hope shatter once again.

"I'm sorry Luke," she whispered, and then she began walking away down the street. The scene was all too familiar for Luke. Watching her walk down the street, away from him, he was overwhelmed by the memories of that night one year ago.

_You're gonna have to figure out how April fits into our lives, not the other way around._

_I'm trying_

_Well, try married_

_Just wait!_

_No! I'm not waiting! It's now or never!_

_I don't like ultimatums!_

_I don't like Mondays, but unfortunately they come around eventually._

_I can't just jump like this._

_Well, I'm sorry to hear that. And I have to go. _

She had left him, issuing her ultimatum. Left him and gone to Christopher.

And as he had on that night last year, Luke just stood there for a moment, stunned.


	2. Thinking It Over Hurts Too Much

Chapter 2

He wanted to yell after her, he wanted to run down the street, he wanted to stop her. But he couldn't. He felt utter helplessness. It was different than that time one year ago. Then she was leaving out of anger. They had fought, and she had run off. He could have run after her; he could have apologized. Maybe she would have taken him back. But why was she leaving this time? He had kissed her—he thought that his had let her know that, once again, he was "all in." He had always been. But she had walked away from him, and, to him, that was the same as turning down the offer. She didn't want this relationship. The kiss was a mistake.

Lorelai kept walking. Each step carried her farther and farther from Luke. With each step, her tears flowed faster and faster down her cheeks as she hurriedly wiped them away.

She felt numb. She tried not to think about what she had just done—walked away from the one man who had ever meant anything to her. In fact, he had meant everything to her. What was she doing? She didn't want to think about it, knowing that the moment she started to think about the day's events, she would never be able to stop. She didn't feel as if she had control over her legs anymore. They kept walking, and with each step it grew harder and harder to turn back.

By the time she reached her house, turning back was impossible. She felt her legs collapse beneath her as she walked up the porch steps. Weak, she was barely able to make it to the couch before she completely broke down.

The second she collapsed on the couch, her thoughts—which she had suppressed on the walk home—began to pour out, immersing her in a torrent of worries, questions, but no explanations. Overwhelmed by her emotions, she had the distinct feeling she was drowning. The pain of losing him, yet again, made her physically nauseous. _What have I done? How could I ruin it yet again? He finally kissed me, why am I not happy? Why am I not still there, kissing him back? I love him, don't I? _And at that moment, she knew that she did. She remembered Christopher's angry accusation that she still had feelings for Luke. He had been right, she later realized, but even he had not guessed how deep these feelings truly were. They were more than just leftover emotions from her relationship with Luke; Lorelai was still in love with him, and even now, after she had run away from him, she could not deny it. She wanted nothing more than to be with him, to kiss him again, to marry him and have his children. But things were never that simple.

A voice inside her whispered that she still had a chance, she could still go back to him, maybe they could have that future together that she had hoped for—that future that had seemed so close, so real, just a few minutes ago. If she could just gather her strength to get up off the couch and go back, maybe…

But here she stopped her train of thought. It was useless, she decided. She had built up her hopes only to have them crushed again. _He never went after me,_ she whispered to herself. _He could have been the one. I was all in. He never went after me._

She woke up the next morning curled in a ball on the couch. A blanket had been draped over her sleeping form in the middle of the night. Light was streaming through the windows, and she smelled coffee in the kitchen. For a brief moment, she forgot the last day—in fact, she forgot the entire past year—and she pretended that she had fallen asleep on the couch during a late-night movie festival with Luke. It would have been Luke brewing the coffee, she thought, as she felt that familiar sense of loss once again.

She was getting so used to that feeling that she had almost forgotten what it was like to live without it. That is—until last night. That kiss, the tiny bit of hope that she could be happy again, made it so much more difficult for her to bear the pain. It was life's cruel mockery—letting her taste happiness before snatching it away all too quickly.

"Mom?" She heard Rory whisper, tearing her mind from her thoughts.

"Mom, are you okay?"

"What? Yeah? I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be okay?"

Rory sat down by her mom on the couch, her concern obvious.

"I found you asleep on the couch last night. Were you crying?"

Lorelai knew her tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes had betrayed her, but she couldn't bear for Rory to see her like this. Rory couldn't leave for her first job—her first steps into the real world—knowing what an emotional wreck her mother was.

Rory waited for an answer, looking patiently at her mother's face for any kind of explanation, but when Lorelai was silent, Rory just nodded. She assumed her mother's breakdown had something to do with her leaving. She understood how much had changed for her mother in the past year, and she knew that she would be lonely.

"I know that a lot is changing" she said.

"Yeah, kid, it definitely is," her mother replied.

Lorelai knew she couldn't spend all day wallowing on the couch, drowning her sorrows with her friends Ben and Jerry. So, even though she wanted nothing more than to sit back and watch Casablanca for the thousandth time, she got up, washed her face, splashed cold water on her red eyes, and got dressed. She had to bring Rory to the airport, she had to say goodbye, she had to act brave for her daughter, even if she was crumbling inside. She pushed thoughts of Luke from her mind. _This day is about your daughter_, she reminded herself as she drove to the airport.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed my last chapter. I know you wanted Luke to run after Lorelai, but I wouldn't have much of a story if he ran after her right away. Don't worry, I won't drag this out too long. ;)


	3. Trying to Fill the Emptiness

A/N: Thanks to those who have reviewed so far!

Chapter 3

Dropping off Rory at the airport was one of the hardest things she had ever done. As she watched her leave, waving to her as she passed through the security gates, Lorelai felt a pain gnawing at her. She watched Rory walk away until she was lost in the bustling airport crowd, wondering when she would see her again.

On the way home, the emptiness consumed her. The pain of saying goodbye to her daughter turned into fear. She wasn't afraid for Rory: she had faith in her daughter's abilities, and she knew that she would be able to accomplish whatever amazing thing she set her mind to. She was afraid for herself. She had never been this alone. Rory had always been there, someone to turn to. Even when she had gone to Yale, it was only a half hour away. And she had always had Luke in her life; whether as a friend, boyfriend, or fiancée—he had always been there. But she couldn't go to him now. She had walked away from him, again. He probably would never want to see her again.

A voice inside her knew this was wrong. No matter how much she screwed up, Luke was always there. He had always forgiven her. In the past, when she had gotten angry, when she had said stupid things to him, he had always stayed in her life. And even after everything, after she had broken up with him and after her failed marriage with Christopher, he had still kissed her. But this time she couldn't go back. She had to be either "all in" or "all out." This time, there was no "in between." She couldn't go back to him and pretend nothing had happened. But did he even want her to go back to him at all? He hadn't come after her. He could have called her, he could have shown up at her house. But he didn't. And to her, that was all she needed to know. Wondering whether she wanted to go back to Luke was useless. He clearly did not want her to.

She shook her head, just wanting these thoughts, these doubts, to disappear. Life would go on. She had been independent from an early age, and she could certainly handle it now. She headed to the Dragonfly, hoping to resume her normal routine. Hopefully, a long day of work at the inn would be able to distract her from her thoughts.

"Lorelai!" greeted an enthusiastic Sookie as Lorelai pushed open the swinging door and entered the Dragonfly's kitchen.

"Umm…hi Sookie." Lorelai replied, confused as she watched her friend practically bouncing with giddiness.

Sookie pushed away the onion she had been mincing, wiped her hands clean on a towel, and sat down on a kitchen stool as she pulled up another one for Lorelai.

"Come on, sit down, tell me everything!"

Lorelai sat down, clearly still confused. "Like what?" she asked.

"Well, the last time I saw you, you were going to find Luke. To thank him for the party. I didn't see you after that, what happened?" she was so close to the edge of her seat that it looked as if she was about to topple off.

Lorelai felt the pain in her stomach returning. She didn't want to talk about the kiss, about everything she had given up _again_. She wanted to tell Sookie, but not now. Not when everything was so fresh in her mind and she hadn't yet sorted through it herself. "What do you mean? I went, I saw him, and I thanked him."

"I'll _bet_ you "thanked" him." Sookie replied, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. "And so, what happened? How long did this "thanking" go on?"

"What? No, that's not what I meant." Lorelai quickly corrected her friend. I saw him, and I said 'Thank you.'"

"So you guys didn't…"

"No!" She interrupted. "We're still just friends, Sooks. Nothing's changed."

"Oh." Sookie replied, clearly disappointed. "Sorry, I just assumed, that, after everything he did for you— I thought it would mean something."

"It's not that simple. He didn't do it for me, Sookie. He did it for Rory."

Later, as Lorelai was manning the front desk, she let her thoughts once again return to Luke. _I just want to see you happy. _His words had echoed through her mind since last night. She knew that she herself didn't completely believe what she had told Sookie. Yes, Luke cared about Rory and had wanted to make sure the town gave her a proper farewell, but Lorelai knew that, in some way, the party had partly been for her. Which made it even harder for her to understand him. Why was he "all in" one moment, and then letting her walk away the next?

"I have an idea!" Sookie announced, interrupting Lorelai's thoughts. "Are you free tomorrow?"

"I guess so," Lorelai replied. "Why?"

"We're having a girls' night out! We'll go dancing, or clubbing, or we'll go see a movie, anything!"

"Oh, Sookie, you don't have to. Just because Rory left and I'm still not dating Luke—you don't have to feel sorry for me. I'll be fine."

"Who says this is for you?" Sookie replied, even though both of them knew it was. "I need to get out of the house too. Jackson's started this new experiment with his vegetables. I swear, once he gets an idea in his head, he doesn't think of anything else. I'll tell you the whole story later, but let me just give you leave you with these words: 'electrocuted pickle.'"

"I'm hooked!"

Sookie laughed. "Anyway, will you? Come on, it'll be fun. Just us girls. Living it up, raising the roof, painting the town red, partying like it's 1999…"

"Sure, Sookie." Lorelai interrupted, hoping to end her friend's list of clichés. "It sounds great. I'll be there."

"You will?!" Sookie exclaimed excitedly. "Yay, that's great! Oh, we'll have so much fun. Okay, I'll see you on Saturday!"

"Wait, Saturday?" Lorelai asked, surprised. "You mean today's Friday?"

"Yeah," Sookie replied. "You okay, honey?" She was clearly concerned by Lorelai's shocked expression.

"Oh, yeah, umm…I'm fine. I guess I just didn't realize that it was already Friday."

"Okay, well, I've gotta get back to the kitchen for the lunch rush. Ooh, I'm so excited about tomorrow!" Sookie left for the kitchen, enthusiastically bouncing with every step.

It was already Friday? Lorelai had been so wrapped up in Rory's leaving and Luke's kiss, she hadn't even bothered to remember the day. She sighed, resting her head in her hands. Friday could only mean one thing…


	4. Luke is Lonely Too

A/N: Again, thanks to everyone who has taken the time to review so far, I really appreciate it. :)

Some of you have expressed problems with the characterization of Lorelai in this fic, and let me just say that I completely agree with you. But I also had problems with Lorelai in the seventh season, and what I'm trying to write is an extension of that. The premise for the story is that not everything was suddenly fixed by the kiss in the finale—which means that Lorelai would not have suddenly gone back to normal. Anyway, that's just my two cents; you don't have to agree with me. I hope you'll keep reading!

Chapter 4: Luke is Lonely Too

_Mom, why don't we just talk about it Friday night at dinner?_

_Oh, so our Friday-night dinners are going to continue, then?_

_Well, we might as well. I've kind of gotten used to it._

Lorelai remembered her conversation with her mother at Rory's graduation party. Granted, she had never confirmed plans for Friday night dinner with her mother, but she was sure that, in Emily Gilmore's eyes, their conversation had been enough to establish her commitment to attend.

She had to show up, she didn't want to risk getting into another fight with her mother, especially when things were finally looking up in their relationship. It was still complicated, but at least not as hostile. Even if she was in no mood to deal with her parents, she didn't want her missing Friday night dinner to be construed as some sort of act of aggression toward her parents. She didn't feel like driving away two of the few people who were in her life right now. At least dinner would be something to distract her from her thoughts, since work certainly wasn't doing the trick.

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Luke sat at the kitchen table in his apartment, drinking a beer. As he looked around, he couldn't believe how much he had lost in the past year. He could have been happily living with Lorelai at her house; they could have been married by now. But he was here alone—a loner once again. He remembered a conversation he had once had with Lorelai:

_I'm not used to someone expecting me. _

_Expecting you to. . . _

_Come home, do things, be with her. _

_Aw, most people would kill to have that in their lives. _

_I know, but I'm different, I'm a loner. _

_Oh no. No no. I don't want to hear about the romance of being a loner. _

_Some guys are just naturally loners. _

_Yes, lonely guys. _

_Independent guys. _

_Sad guys. _

_Maverick guys. _

_Lee Harvey Oswald. _

_John Muir. _

_The unabomber. _

_Henry David Thoreau _

_Every one of these sad and lonely guys. _

He had never fully understood what she meant until now. He had always convinced himself of the romance of being a loner—living above his diner alone and shutting the rest of the world out. He didn't need them. But he needed her.

When he had been with her, he had been happy, probably the happiest he had been since before his dad died. And now that she was gone, the memories made the emptiness that much more unbearable. It was impossible now for him to understand why he had once loved his independent life. He wanted someone expecting him when he came home, someone to talk to when Taylor got on his nerves, someone to pester him for a fifth cup of coffee in the morning.

He heard the chaotic sounds of the lunch rush in the diner below—the people chatting, the plates clattering, the bell over the door ringing as people walked in and out. He was taking a much-needed break from it all. He couldn't stand when other people sat in her chair at the counter; he couldn't stand how his heart got caught in his throat every time the bell on the door jingled, hoping for one moment that it was her.

Why had she walked away? That was the one question he never seemed to be able to answer. She had whispered that she was sorry. Sorry for what? For the kiss? For leaving him? For not being ready to be in a relationship with him?

He finished off his second beer. He was about to reach for a third, but he stopped. This was ridiculous. Getting drunk wasn't going to make him forget her. It would probably just turn him into even more of an emotional wreck.

He couldn't stand being here, where everything reminded him of her. Everywhere he turned, a thousand new memories of her came flooding back, painfully reopening the fresh wound. He went to the closet and grabbed a duffel bag from the floor, as he began to fill it with extra pairs of clothes. As he packed, he remembered a conversation—or more like a shouting match—he had once had with Taylor a while back:

_Fine. In case of a breakup, I'll move. I'll close up Luke's Diner, I'll go far, far away, and that way you won't have to choose, okay? Every section in town can be pink. _

_Can we have your word on that? _

_You can have my word and a couple of middle fingers on that, Taylor. _

Luke would never consider living up to the rash promise he had made and moving out of Stars Hollow permanently, but he couldn't help but think that a little time away from the town would be good. He had lived in Stars Hollow his whole life and couldn't imagine living anywhere else, but, after recent events, he was beginning to feel suffocated.

It had been obvious to the townspeople, especially the regulars at the diner, that something was wrong. Lorelai, who had just begun to come into the diner once again, had stopped and now was only seen at Westons for her coffee fixes. Luke was in a gruffer mood than usual.

The concern of the townspeople was obvious, and they seemed to be unusually understanding. It seemed as if the whole town was sympathizing with him. Miss Patty would incessantly ask him if he was okay. Kirk didn't argue when he thought Luke had accidentally overcharged him one cent for his cup of coffee. Taylor asked if Luke was willing to use his diner to contribute to the new Stars Hollow summer carnival, but he quickly gave up when Luke threatened to throw him out of the diner. Luke couldn't remember the last time Taylor had given up on a subject after asking only once. He appreciated the concern of the town, but he couldn't stand knowing that everyone's eyes were on him. They all knew about the trouble he had gone to in order for Rory's goodbye party to be a success. And most had hoped that, after seeing this, Lorelai would finally come to her senses and take him back. Now he felt pathetic, as if the whole town knew he still loved her, knew that he had tried to get her back, knew that she had turned him down.

Maybe he would go on a fishing trip. Maybe he would take that boat trip he had planned with April—only this time, he would be alone. He wasn't exactly sure where he was going, but he had to leave. After packing his bag, he placed it by the door. He would talk to Caesar about running the diner when he was gone, and then he would leave.

A/N: I'll post the next chapter soon, I just need to work on it a little longer, but it's almost done.


	5. Emily Gilmore and Chinese Food?

A/N: Sorry this is a fairly short chapter, but I hope you still read and review!

Chapter 5: Emily Gilmore and Chinese Food?

Lorelai stood outside of the Gilmore mansion and rang the doorbell as she had done almost every Friday for the past 7 years. Only this time, Rory wasn't with her. Realizing she was alone, she felt that familiar emptiness wash over her again. She didn't have much time to consider this though, because the door quickly opened and she was met with Emily's surprised face.

"Lorelai!" Emily said, clearly shocked.

"Hi mom, you seem…surprised." Lorelai replied as she stepped inside the foyer.

"Well, I can't say I was expecting you. We had no idea you were coming. Your father's out of town on a business trip."

"Oh, sorry, I just assumed. We talked about meeting for Friday night dinner again, so…"

"Of course, but I assumed you meant the occasional meeting, I had no idea it would be so soon! I don't even have a proper dinner prepared."

"Well, I mean, I can leave if you want. It's completely fine."

"No, no, stay! It will just be us girls tonight."

Emily was clearly happy to see her, so Lorelai gave in and decided to stay. She looked at her mother and suddenly noticed that Emily was carrying her half-opened purse.

"Mom, were you about to go out?" Lorelai asked, motioning to the purse.

Emily laughed lightly. "Oh no, I was just answering the door. I assumed you were the delivery boy, so I was prepared to pay."

"Delivery boy?"

"Yes, I ordered Chinese food."

Lorelai looked at her mother, completely stunned. _Chinese food? Emily Gilmore was ordering take-out?_ "Chinese food?" she asked, dumbfounded.

"Well, yes. I'm in between cooks at the moment—I had to fire the last one, he was completely insane. A zucchini fanatic. I swear, if I do not see another zucchini for the rest of my life, I will die happily. Anyway, he was ridiculously incompetent, so I had to fire him immediately, which didn't give me enough time to find a suitable replacement. So I ordered Chinese food."

Lorelai was still staring at her mother in disbelief. "But it's _take-out." _

"Yes, I know that Lorelai. I had heard of the place before, they supposedly serve high quality food, so I ordered it."

"But it's _takeout_." Lorelai repeated.

"Yes, I believe we've established that. Can we move on now?"

"But it's _takeout_."

Emily just rolled her eyes.

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"It's takeout, Mom. It's _meant_ to be eaten out of the containers. See? Just take chopsticks and dig in!" Lorelai attempted to demonstrate.

"Lorelai, just because I ordered takeout does not mean I lost all sense of dining etiquette. And you might be surprised to know that I also retained all knowledge of how to use a knife and fork. So we'll put the food on plates instead of eating like savages."

Lorelai sighed and gave in. Eating takeout was a big enough step for Emily Gilmore anyway, she thought. She still couldn't believe it.

When they were finally seated at the table—Lorelai had also lost the argument that takeout was meant to be eaten on the living room rug in front of a television—Emily and Lorelai talked about Rory's party and Emily gushed about what an amazing job Rory must be doing. For a Gilmore dinner, Lorelai thought, this was relatively stress-free. Both Lorelai and Emily had found common-ground in talking about Rory, so they both stuck to the subject.

As Lorelai was about to leave, Emily paused before walking her out the door.

"Now, Lorelai, think about it before you argue with me, but your father and I have already discussed this, and we would like it if you and Luke came together next week for Friday night dinner."

"What! Mom…" Lorelai was shocked. She and Luke had been broken up for a year now, why did Emily think they were back together?

"Now, before you refuse, We've both promised that he will be treated with respect. We understand that your marriage with Christopher did not work out, and we no longer have any hopes for that. While I still may not completely approve of your choice, I promise to respect it."

"But mom, I _haven't_ chosen Luke. We're not together. Why did you…"

"What?" Emily asked, and Lorelai was surprised to see that she looked a little angry. "But when your father and I were leaving the party, we saw you and Luke kissing. We assumed this meant you were in a relationship."

_Oh no. Out of all the people to see me kissing Luke, it had to be my parents. _Lorelai wished this was a bad dream, she didn't feel like explaining everything that had happened.

"No, we're not in a relationship." She muttered, staring down at her shoes.

"Well, for goodness sakes Lorelai, do you normally just go around kissing men who you're not in a relationship with?"

"No mom…" Lorelai started to defend herself, but decided against escalating the fight. "Anyway, why do you seem mad? You don't even like Luke. But you seem…disappointed."

"Well, of course I'm disappointed. You're almost 40. You can't keep flitting from man to man. Luke seems to be the only man you have ever wanted to have a serious, stable relationship with. And now you turned him down too? I just don't understand you sometimes Lorelai."

"Who says _I_ was the one who turned him down anyway?"

"Well, didn't you?"

Lorelai looked down at her feet again. This was the last conversation she ever wanted to have with her mother. "He didn't come after me." She muttered, her voice barely audible.

"Oh, for heaven's sakes Lorelai, you are many things, but you aren't stupid." Emily replied. "Now, I'll see you _and Luke_ here for next Friday night dinner." And with that confident remark, she shut the front door, leaving a dumbfounded Lorelai alone outside.

_What just went on in there,_ she wondered. _First Chinese takeout and then this?_


	6. Gone Fishing

A/N: Sorry that this chapter is really, really short. But it's still significant, so please read and review!

Chapter 6: Gone Fishing

Lorelai pulled out of her parents' driveway and drove back on that familiar route from Hartford to Stars Hollow. What had her mother meant? She had been so confident that Luke would be at the next Friday night dinner, did she expect that they would have worked everything out by then?

_Oh, for heaven's sakes Lorelai, you are many things, but you aren't stupid._

Lorelai knew her mother was right, she had been acting stupid. She wanted to be with Luke more than anything, but she couldn't seem to make it work. She kept running away. First she had given him an ultimatum and run to Chris, and now, when everything had been so close, when she felt like she could hope for happiness once again, she had run. She didn't understand why. She felt like she was drowning, being sucked deeper and deeper into the water, and she couldn't seem to find a way out.

_I just want to see you happy._ The words rang in her head. He had only just wanted to make her happy. He had built her a chuppah when she was going to marry Max, comforted her when she was crying, supported her when she started her own inn, built her an ice rink when she was mad at snow, agreed to remodel her house after she expressed concern about moving. And now he had thrown Rory this enormous party. Luke had always been a man of action, not words. Hadn't his actions recently shown her that he still cared? The party? The kiss? And what had her actions shown him? She had run away from him. She couldn't blame him for not running after her, how could he have known that she wanted him to? Why had she been so stupid?

Suddenly, she heard the engine rattle. _Oh no, _she muttered as she pulled over to the side of the road. _Perfect timing._ She was about a mile outside of Stars Hollow, and she had run out of gas. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed before it was too late.

She stopped the car and rested her forehead on the steering wheel, trying to decide who to call for help. If this had happened last year, she could have called Luke.

Suddenly something inside her snapped. She couldn't do this anymore. Sookie was right, the town was right, even her mother was right. She needed Luke, she had been stupid.

But she didn't want to call Luke, asking her to come help her _again._ This time she had to be the one to go to _him_; this time she had to be the one to show him that she cared.

Suddenly her car was of minimal importance. She didn't want to waste her time trying to find the closest gas station. Only one thing mattered to her.

She got out of the car, shut the door behind her, and started running. This time she was running towards something, not away from it. This time she wouldn't freak out or second-guess herself. She finally knew what she wanted.

She was excited, anxious to see him. After all this emptiness, she finally understood how to fill it. She felt alive, as if she had finally climbed out of the hole she had been in for the past year. The world around her spun in a dizzying array of colors. Her steps took her closer and closer to him, to her home.

All the memories she had ever shared with Luke came flooding back, but this time she didn't feel that familiar pain as she remembered them. Overwhelmed with emotion, she felt herself smiling and crying at the same time. She wiped the tears from her face and kept going.

She had never run so fast for so long in her life. Finally arriving at Luke's diner, she had to collapse on the front steps, out of breath. She could barely walk any farther. She sat there for a second, collected herself and her breath, and then stood up to face the diner door. When she saw the sign hanging on the glass, she collapsed back down to the ground.

_Gone Fishing_.

A/N: I know, you probably all hate me now...I'll update as soon as possible!


	7. Apologies

Chapter 7: Apologies

After all that, she was too late. He had gone. She felt her world crash down around her once again. She sat on the steps, unable to move. _What have I done?_ If she had only realized how much she needed him a few hours earlier, would she have been here in time? Did it even matter anymore? Was it really over for good? She couldn't breathe. Her heart was still pounding in her chest from her long run, and her feet felt like lead. She had really ruined it this time. She should have told him sooner. She should have never run away in the first place. Why was life playing this cruel joke? Hadn't she suffered enough over the past year? Didn't she finally deserve some happiness?

Suddenly, in the corner of her eye, she caught sight of movement inside the diner, and her heart jumped briefly. But it was only Caesar. Forcing herself to stand, she got up and began to pound on the diner door to catch his attention. Caesar came immediately and opened the door.

"Lorelai?" He asked, clearly confused by Lorelai's appearance. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and she was still out of breath.

"Caesar, you have to tell me where Luke went. When did he leave? How can I contact him?" she asked desperately.

"He's still upstairs. He was just about to leave. I'm just closing up." Caesar replied.

Lorelai barely heard the last part of his statement. In a second, she was rushing up the diner stairs, almost tripping in her haste as she ran clumsily in her heels.

"Luke!" She screamed when she reached the door, pounding her fist on the glass. "Luke, please open the door!" She felt as if her lungs were about to go out.

The door opened and Luke stood on the other side, a duffel bag by his side.

"Lorelai?" he asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry Luke." Lorelai said as she brushed the tears from her face. "I'm so sorry. For everything. I don't know why I ran. It was stupid. _ I_ was stupid. I didn't mean to. I was scared. I don't know why."

Luke stood there, surprised. He had clearly not expected this.

"Lorelai, you don't have to apologize. I shouldn't have kissed you. We should have talked about our relationship first, I shouldn't have pushed you."

"No, Luke. I need you to be in my life."

Luke was worried Lorelai was just saying this because she was afraid of losing him. "We don't have to be in a relationship if you don't want to. We can just go back to being friends. It's fine if you want to forget the kiss, really."

"No Luke, it was a great kiss. I don't want to forget it happened." _This conversation seems familiar, _Lorelai thought briefly

"Yeah?" Luke asked, smiling at her.

Lorelai felt herself smiling back. "Yeah. If one of us was a frog…"

She didn't get to finish her sentence. She felt his lips crash on hers, and she kissed him back. This was what she wanted. She knew that now, and she didn't plan on running again.

_I just want to see you happy._ Luke's words from the other night still rang in Lorelai's ears as they kissed. Unlike the night before, when they broke apart for air, the pain didn't come flooding back. She was happy. She rested her forehead against Luke's.

"God, Luke, we've been so stupid." She whispered.

"Never again." He whispered back as he kissed her again.

They still had things in their relationship to work out. Both of them understood that a kiss couldn't immediately mend all of their problems or heal all of their wounds. But this time they would be together, working them out. This time, no one would run.

The End.

A/N: Since this chapter was so short, I'm also posting a short epilogue at the same time.


	8. Epilogue

Epilogue

A week later

Lorelai entered the diner like a hurricane, the loud clamor of the door's bells announcing her arrival. She was met by the chaos of the diner's daily breakfast crowd; a long line of customers waited to be seated. Immediately, she spotted Luke, who was busy clearing a couple dishes from a table.

"Coffee, coffee, coffee!" She begged, blocking him as he attempted to walk behind the counter.

"We're understaffed today. Wait your turn," retorted Luke with his usual gruff reply.

"But I need coffee _now_!" Lorelai announced, as if her emphasis on the last word would be enough to convince him.

"Too bad, wait your turn."

"Luke, I don't think you get it. Girlfriends automatically get first dibs on the coffee."

"Sorry, that rule must have slipped my mind," he said sarcastically as he returned to ringing up the bill of another customer.

"Oh, come on. I'll even get it myself."

She took a couple steps behind the counter, but was immediately rebuffed by Luke.

"You're not allowed back here."

"Whatever. Obviously dating you is getting me nowhere. It's a rule: those dating the diner owner get to go first in line. I mean, unless you're dating_ all _these people--"she gestured to the long line of customers.

Luke just rolled his eyes, but Lorelai continued, "You're not even denying it? You are dating them? I can't believe I had to find out like this." Pointing to a man nearby—a stocky man with graying hair and a thick silver beard—she continued, "Really, Luke? Because I never thought of him as your type. But I guess…"

"Aw jeez," Luke interrupted, rolling his eyes again. "Fine, here's your coffee. Now stop harassing the other customers." He handed her the pot of coffee and she grabbed it quickly, a grin spreading across her face.

"Yes! I won!" she shouted, holding the pot as if it were some sort of trophy.

"It wasn't a game." Luke replied.

"Aw you're no fun." She pouted, sticking out her bottom lip. "Anyway, you're just saying that because you lost."

He shook his head. "Crazy lady," he muttered as he gave her a quick kiss before returning to his work.

She grinned and quickly scooted into the seat at the counter that had just become available. This felt right to her, she was happy. They were finally back to normal, back to the banter she had missed for so long. During their year apart, she had felt as if they would never be able to resume that routine that she had grown so accustomed to over the years. But she had been wrong. He would always be Luke, always there for her, always caring, always "all in."

The kiss had not made their lives perfect. Afterwards, they had fought. She had yelled about how he had shut her out with April. He had yelled about Christopher. But there was something different in their arguments, and Lorelai recognized that something had changed. They fought, not just to express anger, but to work out their problems. They both wanted a better future together, they didn't want the same things that had ruined their relationship in the first place to ruin it again. They wanted to come out of this better, stronger. And now they knew that they would. As Lorelai sat there, at home in her seat at the diner's counter, she glanced down at the sparkling ring on her finger. Hope was now beautiful, real, and tangible. It was something she could rely on, secure in the assurance that everything would be okay.

A/N: Thanks to everyone whose read my story (especially to those that have reviewed!). I would really appreciate any reviews on the last chapters or just about the whole story in general. (I'm trying to decide whether I should write another story, and any opinions on this story--what you liked or didn't like--might help me)


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